Wednesday, May 19, 2010

we're getting stronger everyday. =)

somehow, u always managed make everything better for me. must be that magic touch God have greatly blessed you with. =)

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i jz wanna share a few pictures which i really love. (all pics r found from google)

my absolute fave out of all these. ^^

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i love that kitty~~~~ <3

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

do you have any idea?

do you have any idea
how much my inner voice is telling me to stay strong and hold on?

do you have any idea
how much lesser im smiling nowadays
n how much harder im finding it to talk
because im always tired
and no matter how much i sleep
it will not wear off?

do you have any idea
how much strength it took
for me to cast down my eyes
n pretend it doesn't matter one bit?

do you have any idea
how much my heart is hurting
when you carelessly say something to me
which breaks my heart into a thousand pieces
and all i can do
is to smile and pretend everything's fine
because that's all i'm allowed to do.

do you have any idea
how much i feel like crying
when i realize that the way you talk to me
is so different than before
yet all i can do
is to follow your lead
because...
that's all that i can do
to not make you feel that im weak
n so that... you wouldn't laugh at me.

do you have any idea
how much it takes for me to go through every single painful moments
when im feeling sad and depress
there's no where for me to turn
no where for me to escape
because
you are everywhere
like a shadow
following me, watching me
finding a chance to catch me at my weakest
then point your finger and laugh
and tell the world what a weakling i actually am
n not the strong one everyone thinks i am

do you have any idea
how much i worry nowadays?

i worry when i sleep
i worry when i wake
i worry when i eat
i worry when i drink
i worry when i watch the tv
i worry when i read story books
i worry when im online
i even worry when im rushing my assignments!

God, give your servant strength.

for she is weak. but she will be strong. only through these words will she show the world that she's weak and fragile, but in real life, she will stand up, force out a smile, and walk out into the battlefield, carrying nothing but her faith and your love.

when i fall, please pick me up.
when i cry, please buy me ice-cream. (dun laugh, im totally serious.)
when im hurt, please comfort me.
when im alone... please... just be there.

i guess, everyone's human afterall.

lets all trust in the LORD and stay strong.

<3

sincerly,
HL

Saturday, May 8, 2010

typical day, not so typical night

and there i was just 2 hours ago, happily telling one fren that i do not blog emo posts in this blog. n here i am two hours later, feeling crappy n jz wanna emo all the way through this post.

i hate it when people fights.

i hate fighting with people. i hate quarrelling. im afraid of it.

to be deadly honest, i always feel like crying when people fight in front of me. even when they might be people who i do not know.

once i saw a couple screaming at each other on some random tv drama, n my eyes just reddens up. i know its stupid, but thats just how much i hate fighting. i remember i was in quite a heated discussion with a very close fren once in snowflake, we had diff opinions n was kinda 'quarrelling' but in a very mild manner wif no raised voice or anything. yet halfway through i stopped myself from saying anymore bcoz i felt tired, depress n just wanna cry.

why do humans fight? bcoz we always think we're right. yet when the other person says something u know its not true about u or about the situation n all u wanna do is just make them understand, there's nothing u can do but to jz insist on yr own point. and when the other person does exactly jz that, we end up wif two people insisting on their opinions, neither wanting to give in n ended up hurting the relationship between them and hurting themselves.

fights breaks two loving people up; fights tears apart a family; fights tears apart a person emotionally and mentally as well.

but when the other person refuses to understand where u r coming from, what else is there to do but fight for your own views and opinions?

i hate it when my family fights.

bcoz there's nothing i can do.

nothing i can say to make it all better.

when everything's said and done, all that's left is hurt and wounded hearts.

to those out there who's reading this, im sorry if we ever had a fight. no matter how small or how big.

but i jz wan to get it across.

it hurts badly when u refuses to listen to me. coz all i wan is for u to understand how i feel abt it. not for u to do things my way.

all i need is jz yr understanding. mayb sometimes a kind word here n there, n not the cold hard facts that im wrong n this is wrong n everything is wrong wrong wrong.

im a human, of course i can be wrong sometimes, most of the times... i know that. i jz dont need u to say it over n over again.

please, let us stop fighting.

sometimes i jz need you to listen to me. even if im wrong. u can tell me that next time. but please, jz listen to me sometimes...

we all need people to listen to us. even if what we're saying is wrong, we just need u to listen without correcting us.

lets all learn to be good listeners, okay?

dont hurt each other anymore by trying to prove you're right.

and please, dont fight in front of me. i cant take it.

im weak.

i'll cry.

im absolutely 100% serious.

sigh sigh sigh...

i wonder...

will you ever read this?

or hv you stopped reading my stuff?

can you understand what im trying to say?

im sorry for that day.

n...

thank you, for everything.

=)


HL