fear

who can really say they dont hv any fear in them?

whether its fear of ghosts, or people, or others... there will be fear in all of us. i noe i noe... the bible told us not to fear for God is bigger than everything in this world. i truly do believe that. but still... i fear.

what do i fear?

i fear always of my own incapability.

can i really do this? can i really be raise up? can i successfully lead others? can i lead an outreach? can i get new members? can i even keep my old members?

so many fears... so many worries... rushing into my head, into my heart, filling me with a type of panic that threatens to sufforcate me...

if i ever have a choice, i would choose to quietly sit at the back. im afraid of responsibility, terrified of failing other people, failing myself.

but...

this is not a good habit is it? its a flaw, rite?

people are not meant to fear so much... i havent even try it, why am i even thinking of the outcome? n ahhh being me, always only thinking on the negative side.

maybe bcoz i can handle other people failing me, but i cant handle me failing me?

ahhhhh i have to change.

i have to stop fearing so much, worry so much...

God says: "Let tomorrow worry for itself. Today will have enough worries on it's own."

true true.

sometimes we jz need to close our eyes and enjoy our lives.

after all,

live IS pretty short.

=)

anyway, this sentence has never fails to bring a smile to my face. let me just share it here with you guys.

'manchester united seems macho'

true aint it? xD

thankiew man-u!!!!

i'll be sleeping with a big smile on my face tonight.

<3

HL

on the 23rd...

i'll be a new person. =)

i made a promise, a covenant, a vow, a step that I'll take in order to make sure God is in control of my life, and not me.

I'm coming back to Jesus, my savior, my Lord, my first and most beloved.

Lord, only You know how much I truly love You.

I'm really sorry for my actions are not showing my love towards You at all...

everything I do seemed wrong and against everything that You've taught me.

the things that I do...

the words that I say...

the way I made my decisions...

it was all done in fear.

for I'm so afraid of losing things that are precious to me.

but Lord, You have told me straight to my face on saturday during service.

You said:

"My child, your problems is so small to Me. Trust Me, and let Me take over. It's time for you to let go. Let go of all your sufferings and your hesitations, and let My love and grace take over."

And now I say to you oh Lord:

"Yes, my Father. I'm willing to let it all go. No matter how much tears I will shed and no matter how much my heart will break, I will surrender everything Lord, everything, to You and only You. No matter what other people say, no matter what I really want, I will do everything that YOU want. For You are my God, my Lord, my most beloved."

*

Father of life, seated on Your throne of grace
It's only by Your mercy we are saved
Lord, You have said if we call upon Your Name
We and our families will be saved

So we cry out Your Name, El Shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on Your grace, Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

Father of love, never failing to forgive
Each moment is a gift from You to live
We're only here to tell the world about Your grace
Until the day You take us all away

We will cry out Your Name, El Shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on Your grace, Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

O, so we cry out Your Name, El Shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on Your grace, Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

O, so we cry out Your Name, El Shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on Your grace, Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

Amen.

i wrote lot, but ended up deleting everything.

i dun hv the courage to post it up...

always... always...

it ends up being a blank paper.

n me, jz sitting in front of the comp, feeling my heart getting broken over n over again.

when is this gonna stop?

dun ask me anything, bcoz i wun tell.

why do i even write all this up then?

i dunno...

maybe its bcoz there's no one to tell.

no one...

latest obssession

hark my playlist, something's different. ^^

i fell in love, AGAIN.

this time with irish music. seriously, their music is just so hauntingly beautiful that i will never get bored listening to it. soothing, relaxing, yet lightly mysterious and it haunts ur heart.

all musics were composed by Ronan Hardiman. Famous for composing traditional irish musical scores for series and musicals.if only i can get to see his musical.... even though i will need to learn irish first....

hmmm... maybe instead of australia, i should really go to ireland.

i love ireland.

IRELAND HEY-HO~! ^^v

<3

HL