do you have any idea
how much my inner voice is telling me to stay strong and hold on?
do you have any idea
how much lesser im smiling nowadays
n how much harder im finding it to talk
because im always tired
and no matter how much i sleep
it will not wear off?
do you have any idea
how much strength it took
for me to cast down my eyes
n pretend it doesn't matter one bit?
do you have any idea
how much my heart is hurting
when you carelessly say something to me
which breaks my heart into a thousand pieces
and all i can do
is to smile and pretend everything's fine
because that's all i'm allowed to do.
do you have any idea
how much i feel like crying
when i realize that the way you talk to me
is so different than before
yet all i can do
is to follow your lead
because...
that's all that i can do
to not make you feel that im weak
n so that... you wouldn't laugh at me.
do you have any idea
how much it takes for me to go through every single painful moments
when im feeling sad and depress
there's no where for me to turn
no where for me to escape
because
you are everywhere
like a shadow
following me, watching me
finding a chance to catch me at my weakest
then point your finger and laugh
and tell the world what a weakling i actually am
n not the strong one everyone thinks i am
do you have any idea
how much i worry nowadays?
i worry when i sleep
i worry when i wake
i worry when i eat
i worry when i drink
i worry when i watch the tv
i worry when i read story books
i worry when im online
i even worry when im rushing my assignments!
God, give your servant strength.
for she is weak. but she will be strong. only through these words will she show the world that she's weak and fragile, but in real life, she will stand up, force out a smile, and walk out into the battlefield, carrying nothing but her faith and your love.
when i fall, please pick me up.
when i cry, please buy me ice-cream. (dun laugh, im totally serious.)
when im hurt, please comfort me.
when im alone... please... just be there.
i guess, everyone's human afterall.
lets all trust in the LORD and stay strong.
<3
sincerly,
HL
:)
ReplyDeleteSometimes in life there is no option. If we have options, it wouldn't be a good options. If got many options, it doesn't mean there will be the best options. I also wish to have an option which I wanted, but it's absence. Let's jia you and move on. But, what can I encourage you is that, what you think might not be the same as it is.
Girl..
ReplyDelete:) i know exactly what you are going through and trust me, my journey now its tougher than u can imagine..remember, no matter what we're going through, its purely because God love us. He love us sooo much that He can't wait to see our face when we reach the place that He long for us to see and experience..as long as we obey His way.. Keep your faith, He knows the deepest desire of our heart and in His timing He will reveal something greater and better for us..in His timing.. Shepherd will be here to go through thick n thin with you ya..:)
shepherd, im tired. where do i find rest? God is kinda silent....
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