I miss....

I miss swensens...

I miss my secondary school...

I miss PLKN aka NS...

I miss being young and carefree...

But most of all...

I miss my blanket. <3

=)

HL

waking up in september~~!!

okay okay technically it's not yet september BUT! harhar september is undoubtedly my fave month of the whole year!!~

guess ppl guess!! why is it so?

xD

i jz completed my ipd assignment so im xxxx HAPPY!!! praise the Lord ever since I realize when u pray before doing yr assignment, u can actually complete it really FAST n today i really did complete it in the speed of light~ (n there i was so afraid i cant make the deadline. xD blame my tendancy to procrastinate~~)

--
well,

despite my constant complaint on my assignments n no time n wa la blah blah blah, amazingly i still found the time to watch this drama. hehee~

It's english name is called "Autumn's Concerto", acted by Vanness Wu (yes the last time gay F4 guy... ><''') and An Yi Xuan.

S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y this is one of the best taiwanese drama EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i <3<3<3 it to bits!!!

(of coz this hv ABSOLUTELY nothing to do wif my undying love for Vanness Wu Jian Hao~~~ *in denial*)

people, go watch this when u hv time.

heck go watch it EVEN IF U DONT HV TIME!!!!! *oops*

u'll fall in love wif vanness. hehehehe~ <3

^^

HL

seriously lah kor, i really forgotten wat i wanted to write in this post that is 'dedicated' to u edi. xD

hmmm...

okay. i shall jz write a little smt abt this weird yet great guy in my life. heheheh.

Introducing~~~~~

Joachim Thean Si-Jian~~~ (pls pls PLS forgive me if i spelled yr chinese name wrongly!!! T.T)

well, i knew joachim waaaayyy back in form 2, where him n jian pin introduced themselves to me using each other's name, n i hv the most difficult time in my life trying to pronounce his name. ><

n i can remember soooo well. i was an innocent n pure little 14 yr old girl, n the presence of this joachim thean n jian pin came n totally POLLUTED my innocent mind. =.='''

they teached me abt soooooooooooooooooo many UN-important stuff abt UN-relevent info for my young n tender age that u wun want me to even mention some of the things. hahahahah

actually, these few years of knowing joachim, from a 14 yr old brat to a 20 yr old grown up is really amazing. he grew so much!!! (not only in size n height lah~ i meant mentally n spiritually as well.) last time he possessed a really straightforward n hurtful mouth.

those kind that can really hurt u wif jz one word. =.= so i always kena. n the rest of the girls in my form 2 class oso. sigh.... but now, its amazing how his thinking mature as time passes~

i wonder how many ppl actually knows the joachim behind those soft soft ultra bully-able facade he always put up? ppl always seemed to bully him coz he never talks back or fight back when ppl insult him. but under all those, i wonder who really know how he feels or thinks?

saying all these, not to say i myself am soooo understanding of his life or his way of thinking or whatever, but i do think that sometimes joachim tend to jz get a little TOO silent abt himself thus i wonder jz how many ppl actually know the REAL him?

i wonder if i even do? lol. jo arh jo, i think what i know abt u is only jz the surface hor? got 20% anot? xD

well, there are also sometimes i think ppl give too little credit for what he does n he NEVER says anything abt it. ><

dun let ppl bully u or take advantage of u edi laaaaa~ xD

but all in all, joachim is a really good fren, can keep his mouth shut really tight abt other ppl's secrets, n can be ultra lame wif no sense of humour whatsoever. HA HA HA. =P

so ah kor, thanks for being there when i need u~ =)

yao yeng n leng zai ah-jo!!! xD

cheers to the my wonderful BROTHER-IN-CHRIST, JOACHIM THEAN!!! =DDD

be blessed! <3>

sincerely,

your mei-in-Christ,

Huei Ling ^^

(NAH!!!! done in 30minutes like i promised!!! hehehe dun pressure me edi orh! xD)

whispers... so soft you can barely hear them.

A girl who have existed for 19 years, 3 months and 13 days.

Exactly how many people noticed her existence? Sure she had plenty of friends, making different memories each days as seconds trickle pass. But if one day, she cease to exist...

Exactly how long will memories of her have lasted in this world?

She had never asked for a lot.

Of course during her younger days she longed for fame and fortune and a handsome, model bodied boyfriend with a shiny benz to complete her life (as do many other young women). However, things started changing as age gradually filled in.

No longer she longed for fame; she rather stay unknown and keep her personal life private.

No longer she longed for immense fortune; she rather stay a humble and modest life than to have thieves plotting her death every second in order to steal her wealth.

No longer she longed for a handsome, model bodied boyfriend driving a benz; she rather have a normal, responsible man who could protect her from the evil in this world, to assure her that she'll always be wanted and will never be abandoned or betrayed.

While the fan in her room rotate noisily way above her head, questions started piling into the girl's mind.

"Why am I always tired?"

"Why does my eyes hurt so much?"

"Why can't I have more discipline and self control?"

"Why must it be so hot in Malaysia?"

Usual, normal questions that any girl is likely to be asking herself in any certain time of the day.

Then, those questions took on another, more mysterious form which the girl herself could no longer keep track nor understand.

"Why don't I have as strongly a passion for God as others?"

"Why do I always feel like I'm fighting a battle which will never end?"

"Why do I feel so lonely yet so smothered with people at the same time?"

...

"Why do I write smses that I know I'll never send?"

The girl can't understand her own mind, her own emotions...

Sometimes she felt as though certain people know her so much better than she knows herself.

Or is this true for every individual on this planet?

She wants to keep her distance, yet she felt terribly lonely when she does so.

She wanted to run away from it, shielding herself from hurt. Yet she couldn't make herself to move.

She wanted to call upon the name of the Lord, yet she finds it so hard to harden her heart and turn away as God is prompting her to.

She felt torn in many ways.

Ways of the world, and ways of God.

Ways of wisdom, and ways of emotions.

Ways of right, and ways of wrongs.

Some things could be so right, yet so wrong at the same time.

Some things could meant one thing, yet hides many hidden motives behind it which will hurt and tear through the heart like a sharp dagger tearing through tender flesh.

Some actions might seemed innocent, yet in another's eyes, it burns through the soul like liquid acid, tearing through deepest corner of the heart and causing a tightening sensation at the throat, a wrenching sensation in the gut and a stinging sensation in the eyes.

That's how much one can hurt another without the former even realising what's going on.

And that, my friends, is what we must be aware of to protect our love ones around us.

Protecting me

You

And all those individuals out there who are, i can only sadly admit, as weak as myself inwardly.

Inner self.

The emotional self.

The self where no one can see and where one can hide it practically from the whole world with just the most basic skill of acting.

The self where hurt is felt full force, from every single action, every single word...

Yet, it is also the inner self that is able to experience the tinniest, smallest spark of joy caused by the slightest actions from the other and explode the whole self and light and warmth... the unexplainable feeling of being glad to just be alive.

The girl sighs and rests her chin against her right arm.

A small smile touches her lips as she feels the familiar feeling of amusement fills her heart.

The world is just filled with contradictions, doesn't it?

Nevertheless, beneath all the hurt and pain and betrayal and grief...

It is still a beautiful world.

=)

to those who matters in my life... u know who you are. =)

The world might not be as it seems

Sometime my dreams leap too far from my reach

Days filled with unexplainable loneliness threatened to weaken my faith

Looking back to the past

It seemed as though frustration crouched in every hidden corner...

“[All these may seem sad and forlorn] but...

Let's transform pain and tears into stars

Let's turn on the lights that will illuminate the future

Let's hold hands together to create stardust

Let's search for the eternity that will shine powerfully

[Who knows], perhaps it [will] come someday

Seasons bounce around from one place to the next, nevertheless...

Despite losing the way a bit

I'm [not alone], I'm walking with you

Let’s not change just that”

我知道上面所写的都还蛮悲伤

不过在那些伤的背后

总感觉到你默默的支持

默默的疼爱，关怀

因为你从来没让我忘记过你的存在

而我，

也因为有你这样的一位朋友，

幸せは傷みの世界に変える。

love you. =)